Senin, 28 Mei 2018
Rabu, 23 Mei 2018
Rabu, 14 Februari 2018
Rabu, 08 November 2017
Senin, 28 Agustus 2017
odoh itu sedekat itu, baru aku sadar ternyata setelah aku mengenalmu dua tahun lalu, ternyata memang kamu yang selalu ada. Selalu ada saat aku butuh? Bukan. Tapi selalu di sisi, menemani perempuan kecil yang dulu suka bercerita padamu mengenai pemikirannya yang sering kali tak dapat diterima orang lain tapi dapat kau dengarkan. Tanpa kusadari kuhabiskan banyak waktuku bersamamu. Selalu ada celah untuk bersama. Entah seminggu sekali, dua minggu sekali atau beberapa kali dalam sebulan. Kita bersama. Sejenak kabur dari masalah masalahku, dan mungkin sejenak kabur dari masalah-masalahmu. Saling merasa membutuhkan sosok yang seperti itu-. Tapi bodohnya tak pernah menyadari. Merasa nyaman tanpa disadari. Aku menemanimu mencari yang kau inginkan, begitu pula kamu menemaniku mencari. Tapi ternyata? Yang kita inginkan memang tak kita sadari ada didepan mata. Bagaimana bisa tidak menyadari. Awalnya memiliki satu kata kata sama yang terucap,
"aku nggak mungkin sama dia". Pemikiranmu, pemikiranku, sama. Lalu aku tersenyum kecil, entah bagaimana tuhan menjodohkan aku dengan kamu. Dari rasa nyaman yang tak pernah kita sadari.
If i have a lot of money, i will run
If i have a passport, i will run
If i know somewhere i can stay in US i will run.
If i can be a novelist as sucess as jk rowling i will run.
I will run.
I hate my life here.
My work, my fam, my love.
Love? Hahaha what do you mean?
This cant be called love, this is sacrifice to the others.
Sabtu, 19 Agustus 2017
Finally I said, Im so tired. Tired of what? tired of being alone, tired of not telling someone of Anything. Tired of sending a text to someone I knew as a friend, but it wont repply, tired of being empty confersation, Tired of hate everything, dont like anything~ it was so bad. Soo bad.
I dont have a friend, i dont like write anymore, i dont know what to do, i dont know what i like, i dont like my work, i dont like every single thing in this life. I dont like meal, either drink,
I miss being like of everything, have a favourite drink and meal, glad to see someone, being happy, warm, smile, feeling comfort, have a lot of friend, always know whereever i want to go. I missed.
Rabu, 19 April 2017
Kali ini bukan tentang siapa namun tentang bicara.
Hujan menyerah pada gumpalan awan gelap hingga ia meneteskan air pada bumi.
Awan gelap bukan tentang malam tapi tentang mendung.
Jogja diguyur hujan, semula deras, tapi menjelang gelap hanya rintik yang disiakan.
Menelisik jalan jalan riuh kota Jogja, bersama penulis kehilangan kata,
Seperti pelukis kehilangan kuas,
Seperti pemahat kehilangan pisau.
Sembilanbelas April duaributujuhbelas.
Ah apa saja,
Kau lihat perempuan yang biasanya terdiam dan terlalu banyak berkata iya.
Kau lihat kehangatan di kota Jogja yang sedikit membeku karena hujan yang syahdu.
Lalu dua orang baik hati untuk bicara malam ini.
Lalu sudut minoritas yang lebih baik dari keriuhan popularitas biasanya. Jati diri.
Juga mantan barista yang tak suka kopi seperti biasanya. Sudut hangat kota Jogja.
Minggu, 12 Februari 2017
Life is pain, highness. I have being the last but not least. I have being the first but not the begining.
Being a sleep. The trouble is,
I hate being alone, i hate to feel that pain everytime, so I fall a sleep.
A lot. When Im happy I sleep, When Im upset I sleep more. Sleep? Does it really really cure the pain? Kill the loneliness? Or.. It just hurt me more. Over and over again.
And knowing this, I feel very, very tired. It’s true, depression will make a person tired regardless, but I suspect my mind, knowing of the relief of sleep, urges its presence rather strongly.
Jumat, 03 Februari 2017
How come our marriage will be held on the next month?
Are you ready for this? Am I really really sure to our relationshit? Oh sorry, relationship. How come? Why married? Does he loves me? Does he really really there for me? Or just he want to break me twice and goes on. You know babe, i need someone to be really really fair in the relationship. Fair and love me so much. "Fair." Please read this word correctly without plus "a" in the begining. And.. You read this "afair". No.. Please. But, how come you keep lying so much when i knowing so much? How dare you.
Sabtu, 28 Januari 2017
A question "the reason why you get married?" a quotes answer "because all i want is only her, because i love her, because she is my home, because she can understand me" a reality answer "because she is pretty, because she is independent, because i dont know why i marry her, because she is smart, because i dont know who i shold be marry, because she wants to, because we need to be married, because life goes on, sometime we should be marry someone and love maybe comes after needs. Maybe"
A question "the reason why you get married?" a quotes answer "because all i want is only him, because i love him, because he is my home, because
he makes me happy" a reality answer
"Because i lost my hope, because im tired being alone, because i need to have someone to safe my life, because my age, because my parrents, because he is work, because i dont know why, because this is the time,"
Didnt you love each other?
HER : love? What? I think marry just a responsibility, a weight, a legal name to doing sex. Maybe wrong if marry because sex, but remember need someone to be a father of our child someday. So.. I marriage. I dont think so much about love and whats going on after marriage. Just married, and do the things what I should do as a wife.
HIM : love? Haha.. I just need her. I dont understand her, she dont understand me ofcourse. I just follow her wants to do. Give her what i can give. Safe her, because she is my wife not because i love her.
Are you ready?
HER : not really, I dont know why i shold be marry him. He didnt love me, i know, he cannot understand me, i know. HIM : i dont know about my self. I dont know why i marry her.
Two people. Who didnt love each other, didnt understand each other, who didnt know why they are married will be marry soon. Pathetic.